Finding Support, Giving Support: Julie's journey with Saint Francis Hospice and OrangeLine

My first contact with Saint Francis Hospice came when my husband was assessed by a clinical palliative care nurse. We agreed that the team would keep in touch by phone unless anything changed.  Subsequently, in those final days, contact became vital.  Their support wrapped around us quietly but so compassionately and, after he died, a letter arrived from the Hospice with information about bereavement support.

Grief had taken hold but so had anxiety and I was struggling to even step outside my front door.  I sent back the form asking for bereavement therapy and soon had an assessment phone call with Tricia from the Family and Individual Support team.  Because there was a waiting list, she suggested OrangeLine calls as a bridge until therapy could begin.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I agreed.

Helen, a volunteer from OrangeLine, called me and from that very first conversation I knew I would be helped. Just having someone kind to talk to, someone who genuinely listened, made such a difference. She phoned me every week without fail until my therapy sessions began.

On 3 July 2023, I started therapy with Peter from the Hospice.  Because of my condition, the sessions were over the phone, but, like Helen, he was there without fail every single week.  His consistency and care were lifelines.  Saying “thank you” hardly touches the depth of what that support meant to me. I will always be grateful.

As therapy came to an end, I told Peter that I felt like I was only existing, not living. We talked about this and he suggested volunteering. The idea seemed perfect for me. I’d been helped so much that I felt humbled and I wanted to give something back.

With Peter’s help and encouragement, I met Karen Freeman from OrangeLine, who understood exactly where I was on my journey.  Before long, I began making calls, just like the ones that had helped me, to people who needed a friendly voice and a listening ear.  Volunteering has helped me as much as it’s helped others.  OrangeLine is full of the most wonderful people, and I’m indebted to them, both as someone who once needed support and now as part of the team offering it.

I now also run one of the OrangeLine support groups, the Brunch Club, every other Friday at the Pipe Major in Dagenham East.  We meet from 10am to 12pm, though many stay much longer.  We always get a friendly welcome from The Pipe Major and are very grateful for all their help and support.

It’s a space for the bereaved but a typical get together feels like friends meeting up.  Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, sometimes we put the world to rights.  There’s no pressure to eat or drink, but plenty of us enjoy a breakfast or a coffee while we talk.  Everyone is given a warm welcome.

People can say exactly how they feel without judgement.  We talk about grief, of course, but we also share memories that make us smile, sharing photos and memories.  There is always a moment when someone realises it’s okay to laugh while talking about the person they lost.  If someone arrives feeling fragile and sad, the whole group seems to wrap around them like a virtual hug.

The Brunch Club is special because our support doesn’t come with time limits or expectations.  We truly understand how hard the grief journey is and walk alongside each other.  We discuss that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. That what they’re feeling is normal.  You can literally see the change in people, from the moment they walk in, to the moment they leave.

Before all this, I ran a Lunch Club at the Pipe Major. That group has been meeting for two years and has now naturally become a friendship group. People there still have their sad days, but we continue to support each other with understanding and kindness.  We now meet socially, and some even go on holiday together. I still attend as a member because they’ve become my friends. 

Seeing how these groups grow, how people find confidence, connection, and even joy again, makes me hope for more.  I’d love to help develop other groups like these, supporting people until they’re ready to stand on their own, knowing the bonds they’ve formed will continue to hold them.

And I’ll keep up my telephone support too.  Because I know, from the other side of the call, exactly what a difference it can make.