How Saint Francis Hospice is helping me to cope both physically and mentally

David Middlemiss shares how the care and support he receives at Saint Francis Hospice has helped him, both physically and emotionally, to come to terms with living with cancer.

When I first got diagnosed, I didn’t want to accept that my life might be limited. 

It’s taken time, but being connected with Saint Francis Hospice, talking to people and getting support, has helped me come to terms with that. You start to realise you’re not the only one, and that brings a real sense of comfort. 

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer four years ago, and it’s since spread to my bones. At the time, I had a broken vertebrae in my neck, a broken femur and a broken hip. I spent eight weeks in hospital, and when I came home, everything had changed. I had to wear a collar and sleep downstairs, and my wife had to change my neck brace every day. It was quite traumatic. 

I remember thinking: why are they referring me to Saint Francis Hospice? 

But then Sue from the Family and Individual Support Services team came to see us at home, and that’s when things started to change. She would sit with me and my wife, talk things through and guide us in what we could and couldn’t do. That settled my head down considerably. 

I couldn’t do what I used to anymore, but those conversations helped me learn how to adapt. Sitting and talking about things made a huge difference, not just to me, but to my wife as well. 

Not long after that, I was invited to attend a HOPE session, the first group I went to at the hospice, and it really opened my eyes. 

I remember a young woman there saying she had only a few weeks to live, and she was worried about what would happen to her dog. That really stayed with me. It made me realise how important the small, everyday things are, and how you need to prepare for them. It helped me begin to process what was happening in my own life. 

Four years later, I’m still here, and I appreciate those moments much more. 

As I started coming into the hospice more regularly, I began attending other sessions too. I joined the exercise classes, and at first I thought it would just help me physically, but it became much more than that. Being around other people in a similar position gives you a real sense of reassurance. 

I’ve also built friendships through the support groups run by the OrangeLine team. We sit, chat, and keep up with how everyone’s getting on. It gives you space to talk things through and helps you deal with what’s going on in your own life. 

I also attend the sensory group, where we reminisce and talk about memories, holidays and plans. It might sound simple, but it really helps ease the stress that comes with living with a condition like this. Over time, you begin to come to terms with it.

All the staff, without exception, want to help you get through it. Even when I don’t say much, they seem to understand. If I’m having a bad day, they’ll check in, and somehow they know exactly what to say to lift you. There are so many people involved, including volunteers who help you get here and back home again. It’s incredible. 

The hospice has also been there for my wife emotionally too. She received telephone support and this helped her get through a difficult period.

Before I became ill, I didn’t really understand what the hospice did. Now I see it’s not just about end-of-life care. It’s about living, support, friendships and helping you carry on. When the time does come, I now know it’s somewhere I’d feel comfortable being.

For me, Saint Francis Hospice has helped me cope with my condition in every way, both physically and emotionally. It’s given me understanding, support and a sense that I’m not facing this on my own. It’s not just a place to die. It’s a place to keep going.